Closed Doors
by Big Kitty
Summary: Fai's POV. The mage hurts himself, and Kurogane confronts him about it. Fai, however, is not willing to share. One-shot. Rated for language and implied violence.


**A/N: **I wrote angst. I can't believe it either.

Anyways, this story takes place way back near the beginning of the journey. Yes, angst did exist back then!

I did not write this with the intention of it being KuroFai. But don't click that back button! I can see how you could take it to be that way, and if that floats your boat, well then that's OK too.

**Warning: **This story contains self-harm and angst. If you have self-harmed or angsted in the past, it may be triggering.

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The first time Sakura-chan saw the bandages on my wrist, her innocent green eyes contorted in worry. Her voice was full of genuine concern when she asked me what had happened.

It was the only time in my life that I could remember someone being honestly worried about _me._ And I responded by telling her that she shouldn't worry-I was just scratched by a cat. I gave her a reassuring smile, my usual ear-to-ear lie.

Though I couldn't see them, I felt those crimson eyes boring into me; the eyes that see far more than I want them to.

I don't know who made me feel more sick- the one with the crimson eyes, or myself.

He tears down my painstakingly constructed façade like it's nothing. He can see right through every lie I tell- which is about every word I speak. He knows the truth, and I hate him for it.

And then there's me. I had just taken advantage of the sweetest, most innocent person I knew. In my world, innocent meant gullible. The first person to actually care about me, and I unabashedly lied to her face. I wanted to throw up.

Lying was second nature with me, and pretending was my art, but I never felt as guilty about it as I did just then.

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Later that night, he confronted me. I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, but that didn't mean I would accept it.

I was walking down the hall to my bedroom when I heard footsteps approach. "Mage."

"Oh, hello Kuro-woof!" I sang, my cheerful mask at the ready. I laid it on thick. "Did you come to read me a bedtime story? How thoughtful~!" I gave the biggest grin I could muster.

He stared at me, stony faced. "Cut the BS," he said shortly. "You can lie to the kids all you want, but don't do it to me. It's insulting."

I didn't respond to this, smile never wavering. After a few moments of silence, I continued my game. "Well, if you didn't come to read me a story, why are you here? Oh, I know! You're going to tuck me in, aren't you?"

His red eyes narrowed, he strode over to me. Without warning, he took my wrist and squeezed it hard.

It took every ounce of self-control I had to keep from crying out.

"Wanna tell me what really happened here?" he asked, pulling back the sleeve of my pajama shirt.

I smiled again. "Didn't you hear me tell Sakura-chan earlier?"

"I heard you lie to her," he said matter-of-factly. I averted my eyes, refusing to meet the hard crimson gaze.

"What makes you think I was lying?" I said in a singsong voice.

He scoffed. "Several reasons." Ruthlessly, the black-haired man tore off the bandage on my wrist. (It hurt, since the bandages in this world were enchanted to be adhesive.) *

"First of all, I haven't seen a cat the whole time we were on this world."

I said nothing.

"Secondly, I've been in enough battles to know a _knife cut _when I see one." With this, his vice grip on my wrist increased.

I lowered my head, a ghost of a smile gracing my lips. A curtain of gold hair fell down, obscuring my eyes.

"…Well?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Well what?"

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Why did you do it?" His voice was sharp, accusing.

"Do what?" I asked perkily, raising my head and tilting it to the side in mock confusion.

"Goddamnit, Fai, you know what!" He threw down my arm in disgust.

I was shocked. When I played my games, his voice was full of rage, but that was nothing compared to what he said now. Not only that, but he had used my real name. Not "mage", or "idiot". It was the first time I had heard him say it since we started the journey.

"Hm, Kuro-snuggle, I don't know what you're talking about!" I smiled at him. "Perhaps you should go to bed and get your mind working straight again." It was time to make my escape. I turned to enter my room.

Without warning, he grabbed me by the throat and slammed me against the wall. "Tell me why you did it," he snarled through gritted teeth. I took a gamble and smiled.

"What are you going to do, Kuro-pon? Kill me?" My voice came out in a harsh whisper.

He narrowed his eyes. "Sorry, but I'm not going to give you that satisfaction." Finally, he released his hold on my throat and I fell to the ground.

I coughed weakly and rubbed my neck.

"Listen." I looked up expectantly at him. "I, uh…. Well what I'm trying to say is… Sorry," he mumbled, his eyes flicking guiltily to the red marks I presumed were on my throat. I smiled and nodded.

"I don't know why you lie all the time," he continued. "But, for once, can't you just tell me the truth? Why did you hurt yourself?" His voice had taken on a new tone. Completely different from the rage earlier. If I didn't know him, I might have thought he was concerned.

I didn't respond. I just sat there, staring into space for what seemed like forever. Finally, he let out a sigh and turned to leave.

My hand shot out and grabbed his arm. "Hey."

I slowly stood up as looked back at me, not daring to say a word.

"…I'm sorry too." I turned and went into my room, closing the door behind me with a bit more force than necessary.

Kurogane stood in the darkness of the hall, staring at one of the many closed doors between them. "Yeah."

*LOL, Fai marvels at the magic that is band-aids.

**A/N: **Yeah, it was kinda crappy. And it was really, really short. But it was just an idea I had and I decided to run with it. Well, tell me what you think! Reviews are love~


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